As I write to you, it’s 5:55am in Dubai and I’m half way home.

Whilst I’ve been away, I’ve been answering your emails and chatting with some of you over Skype. Yes, the world gets smaller all the time!

The thing is, when I looked, I found ladies just like you in the sunshine of Asia where it’s a constant 35c and it’s cheap to live. Where most expats have a very comfortable life with a pool, a driver and plenty of disposable income.

And do you know what?

Some of them are miserable. They want to leave their husbands.

Just like you.

They love the ‘trappings’ of the expat life. The villa, the driver, the pool, the holidays and shopping trips.

Ironic that phrase ‘trappings’ isn’t it?

They feel trapped. Living thousands of miles from close family and their oldest friends, they feel trapped.

I spent some of my holiday supporting a client to see that she can leave. We looked at her values – what’s important to her. She’s had a ‘nice’ expat life. A ‘nice’ life with a husband who shows her no affection. A husband who criticizes her and tells her in Vietnam she is nothing.

I’ll call this lady Penny (that’s not her real name). Penny is a smart lady. She has experience of a corporate consulting job. She hasn’t ‘worked’ for 8 years.

What she has done is support her husband and children to move several times to several continents. Organising, supporting, sacrificing, getting her children settled into new schools. She’s resilient, tenacious and courageous. She needs support to get her job skills up to date. And then? What employer wouldn’t want a woman who’s smart, tenacious courageous who has lived all over the world working for them?

It’ll be tough for Penny. She’s not English, she has cultural pressures too. But she’s doing it. Penny wants more than the ‘trappings’ of the expat life.

“I want to be me again” she said.

You see ultimately, houses, money status don’t make you happy. Only you can do that by being true to yourself.

Spend time with your BFF when you can. Take a break. It doesn’t have to be far, but getting away from your ‘normal’ helps to change your state and get perspective.

It’ll help you see both yourself and your situation differently.

Ask your BFF what your greatest strengths and qualities are. Be prepared to be surprised to hear just how fantastic you really are.

I bet, like Penny, you forgot.

I know it’ll be hard.

I also know it’ll be worth it.

And,

I know you can do it.

Love Emma x