Divorce – sometimes it’s just about fun!

Sometimes it’s just about fun! Yes even when you’re getting a divorce!

When we focus too much on the stress, the lack, the craziness, or the paperwork we become overwhelmed. Tired. Unhappy, or we feel lost.

When we have fun, we relax and then we can be more of who we really are.

Being who you really are

Being who you really are can feel so challenging. You may not even remember who you really are.

If you are peri-menopausal or going through menopause and going through divorce well, you really do have all the crazy going on right now!

Being who you really are, starts with having fun.

And that’s what we did on Saturday.

Saturday was the Summer Social for the Absolute Academy. We met up, had drinks nibbles, and chatted. Nothing heavy. Just a group of women with something in common – they are going through or have just been divorced.

The event was generously sponsored by Kingsley Napley Solicitors (experts in high conflict divorce) and Cady Pearce and Alex Bishop were on hand to chat through any issues the ladies had but mostly, it was women connecting and having fun!

They were themselves.

No children present – thank you childcare arrangements!

Nobody to please but themselves.

And they shone.

They laughed.

And they supported each other.

Being part of a community

Some members of the Absolute Academy had met each other before – either through the seminar I ran prior to lockdown or through a local group that meets in St Albans. It’s all about community. Others had met online through our Facebook group or hilarious Zoom chat Wednesdays – but not face to face.

If you haven’t experienced divorce community well you’re missing out. It’s powerful.

It’s transformational – true Alchemy right there.

Not trying to be all the things to everyone

When you’re part of a community you realise you can’t be all the things to everyone. Not all the time anyway. Perhaps you’re a boss, a mother, a carer – you have a whole host of titles and responsibilities. In a community, you can let your guard down. You can be honest, real, and raw – no judgement only support and cheerleading.

Not trying to do all the things

Sometimes you need others to tell you when to let go. When to step away and when to say no. Sometimes you feel like you need the permission of others until you can learn to give it to yourself (and you will ). The feelings of guilt are real but the reality is, there’s nothing to feel guilty for. You are doing the best you can with what you know and understand right now. Progress over perfection – you will get there. Let the community lift you up and carry you along when you need it. As you grow you’ll be there to pay it forward and return the support you received -it’s how it works and my goodness when it happens it’s amazing.

Saturday was all about just being.

It was about connection. Sisterhood and support.

Saturday was fabulous.

Divorce was parked just for one day. No one was trying to do all the things or be all the things.

Just getting there was a challenge for some and they made it.

It was so good to see everyone. It was so good to hear everyone and it was so good to hug new friends and old.

Want to find out more about the divorce community? Check out The Absolute Academy.

And yes, the ladies have already asked me to organise a Christmas Party.

Are we going to have one?

Of course we are!

Wanna come?

The Divorce Alchemist

Emma Heptonstall, the Divorce Alchemist is author of the Amazon best selling book How to be a Lady Who Leaves, the Ultimate Guide to Getting Divorce Ready. A former lawyer, Emma is a practising family mediator and founder of Get Divorce Ready the online self study and group programmes. Emma has been featured on BBC Radio, The Telegraph, the iPaper and in Marie Claire Magazine. To find out more visit www.emmaheptonstall.com